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Independence

August 22, 2011

The last few nights, Ads has woken up at 3am and wanted to hang out. For hours. She’s just awake, doing bicycle legs, smiling, chit chatting with the ceiling.
She sleeps in our bed, on my side so her well meaning father, who sleeps like a rolling log, doesn’t smother her or break her arms in his sleep.
I can’t sleep with her wiggling and grunting all night beside me, so I’ve found myself trying to rock her back to sleep on my legs, drug her to sleep with the boob, pat her belly back to sleep (she loves that). All to no avail. Then the sun comes up and I look and feel like an old hag.
I had been using our Arms Reach cosleeper for a few things:
Dumping grounds for clean laundry
Keeping baby blankets and towels hung over the sides for easy access at night
A barricade against the bed in case Ads suddenly rolls over

But she has yet to actually sleep in it. Or even nap in it or spend any time in it at all. So yesterday I cleaned it out, put it up against the bed properly, and got it all ready to be used. At 3am. When baby wants to wiggle around incessantly.

Well, last night 3am came and guess who was bright eyed and ready to wiggle. I put her in the cosleeper thinking that a few minutes in she would get uneasy, because she wants her mommy and she misses being right next to me. Right?
What a sad sap I am.
She loved the damn thing. She was bicycling, cooing, giggling, smiling, chit chatting. Ooh, and the coolest thing that she couldn’t stop looking at: the long tag on the boppy that was hanging over the side of her cosleeper. Fascinating. (Also, my phone just auto corrected “boppy” to “bologna”. Awesome.)

I watched for about 20 minutes as she had the time of her effing life. Then, according to the plan, which was going almost too well for my comfort level, I went to sleep.

I woke up what felt like HOURS later, but was probably 15 minutes, and she was happily drifting into sleep land. Still smiling. So sweet. So not needing to be with me. Little brat is 5 weeks old, just needs a little space sometimes, apparently.

Now really, this is fabulous. I slept, uninterrupted, for 3 hours. I slept completely under the covers for the first time since she was born. (Ha, weeks ago I even cut half way down the front of a sweatshirt so I could stay warm and easily nurse in the night.) J and I snuggled! Magic.
It’s awesome that she can sleep on her own and put herself to sleep. I feel like my friends who have made efforts to achieve this spend days or weeks letting their kid cry it out and practicing sleep training, etc. I had a feeling this one would lean naturally toward independence.

I woke up after 7am. That’s after the sunrise, btw. She was sweetly making her “I’m hungry now” noises. I fed her, and now she is asleep on my chest.

Ha! Sleeping face first on my chest. Her forehead is on my arm.

All is right in MY world again. But she is probably feeling like I’m crowding her space.

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